Author Archives: bramblymouse

About bramblymouse

These words are mine.

Getting older, not wiser

Most of us aren’t keen on getting old. You start having to wear cardigans in the summer, and eating sweets that taste like medicine, and being tutted at by 15-year-olds for not leaping upstairs like a youthful gazelle. You also have to … Continue reading

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Lessons I have learned (2010)

Ahh, the dawn of a new year. A time of drinking and puking, and laughing at people queuing outside Next for discounted polyester work trousers, and kissing people at midnight (or with bootless cries, beweeping your outcast state), and crap … Continue reading

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I’ve found a friend in Jesus

When I was little, me and my brother used to cherish a dusty book from the 60s which was filled with photos of the paranormal. Our favourite section featured sightings of the Blessed Virgin Mary (or BVM, as the book respectfully abbreviated it) … Continue reading

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Rhythm is a wanker

Think of the most provocative four-word sentence you can utter. You might assume it’s something like, ‘I’ve given you herpes,’ or ‘Slankets are the future!’ But try saying, ‘I don’t like music,’ on a regular basis, and see what happens. … Continue reading

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A funny thing happened

A funny thing happened the other night. I was in a club (I don’t do clubs, but I was wearing a skirt, so everything was okay), when the man I was standing next to made a joke. Something about Jesus’s … Continue reading

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Eat this, not that

If I could click my heels three times and wish myself anywhere, it would be America. I’ve never been that bothered about travelling (although, as a Sagittarian, I’m supposed to love travel. And socks and pineapples and sunshine and rainbows … Continue reading

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Life in the slow lane

Yesterday evening, I was offered a backie by my friend, who has a lovely bike with a bell and a basket. Three thoughts sprung immediately to mind. The first was that it’s not 1985, so why in Christ’s name was … Continue reading

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